Headpin league - PFM Fixtures

Last Season's final position night report

Match Reports

21st September
Against Spare Parts
Result = 4-0

A very hard match against a team with a shed load of handicap. The opposition bowled well above their handicaps (I beliebve that they stonked one of the top teams the previous week). All three games, with the possible exception of the last, were very close and down to the last frame. However, no call was made on the stock of "Get out of Jail Free" cards.

go to top

28 September
Against Triple Curry
Result = 3-1

Another very hard match against one of the lower average teams who bowled way above their normal averages. One "Get out of Jail Free" card used.

go to top

5th October
Against Confusion
Result = 4-0

No match report, but congratulations to Mr Moore for his 591.

go to top

12th October
Against JAG UFS
Result = 1.5-2.5

Ferret was not looking forward to bowling after sampling the lanes on Wednesday, he was right not to expect much. Lanes seem to be coated in sticky oil. Mike spent all of the first game trying to get a strike (silly boy kept putting the ball in the pocket), the rest of us just trundled along aimlessly. John needed 8 on the last ball to secure the win in the first game - and got seven for the draw. We won the second game but were tonked in the last due to various missed spares (including Ferret's two in a row). Lost the overall by just four pins. This is the first match this season that we've lost and the first match in which Ferret has failed to lob one into the gutter - is there a moral here?

Evening ended on a worse note for Gary, who had his car clamped and nearly towed away.

go to top

19th October
Against Feltham Electric
Result = 4 - 0

Well, back on track against a team that is well capable of bowling well above their posted handicaps. Commiseration to the big one, who wrote off his Wing earlier, causing much pain to himself and his partner, who is still in hospital.

go to top

2nd November
Against Einstein's Graduates
Result = 4 - 0

What can I say. I go away for two weeks much needed R&R (a very nice lady at the Happy Thai) and they must have changed the lanes!!!. A stunning performance from Mo (Tiger Woods), our golfing supersub - it appears that he still knows what to do with his big balls. Mo was more than ably backed up by the rest of the team with fine series by all. The 2nd game was looking lost, being 70 pins down with just four frames to go, then someone lit the touchpaper and the dynamic foursome hit 17 strikes out of 20 (13 of consecutively) to win by 90 pins. I must go away more often.

go to top

9th November
Against Quadrant Mowers
Result = 3 - 1

No real match repoert here, though it appears that supersub Ron bowled whilst the others merely attended the venue.

go to top

16th November
Against TIPCO
Result = 0-4

Oh God, what a disaster. TIPCO are a seriously dangerous team, in the right conditions they can slay you - and they did. An unusual line-up for PFM, with no obvious anchor man Ferret took on the role, with disasterous consequences. The lanes were oiled so long that they might as well have olied the car park as well, and ferret was not in good form. What's a spare?. With TIPCO in good form, particularly Babs who bowled a 597 with 93 handicap, the only game we really stood a chance in was the second. However weasel chopped the 6-10 and we lost by 4 pins.

go to top

17th November
Against Hammers
Result = 3-1

Ferret was really looking forward to this - NOT, so Weasel came in. The only solice, prior to the match, was that Jock also bolwed complete rubbish the day before. A very close match in the first and second games, Hammers winning the first and us taking the second. Same problem foe weasel as the day before - what's a spare?. In the last game we started to get it together and won quite easily, taking the series as well. Weasel even ,managed to get a semi-reasonable 186. Let's hope Ferret returns soon.

go to top

23rd November
Against Classics
Result = 1-3

Ferret was on hand to offer support for the first match in the "battle of the Titans". Classics are always a real challenge, as are PFM, and the first game really showed what can happen when two top teams go into battle. The game swung seemingly at every frame. Classics, particularly Steve, finished really hard but lost narrowly 796 to 802 scratch. The second game started to follow the same pattern with PFM holding a slight, but increasing lead, by the end of the fourth frame. Ferret decided to go home, safe in the knowledge that the team were doing the business. Pratt. The Classics went on to take both the second and third games and the series. I'm advised that the second game was quite close, but in the third game the lanes "changed". An inquest will follow, along with the beatings.

Pitiful excuse
Our furry ferret's offers the following pitiful excuse for his last two weeks "scores".

It was a combination of three problems: -

1. The monkey who oiled the lanes put down a "pattern" that consisted of very long oil combined with a very vicious back end.
2. Your furry friend bowls with a ball that is drilled to go very long and then finish very hard.

The combination of the above meant that the ball went far too far down the lane before suddenly cutting hard left, result was that the ball was driving sideways through the back of the pocket, leaving a lot of headpin splits and sleepers. This condition also makes it very difficult to assess spares

3. A complete inability to find the right hand corner of the lane, with anything, not even a shotgun would have helped.

go to top

30th November
Against Bejays
Result = 1-3

Pathetic, absolutely pathetic. The only one who bowled at all was the furry one (surprising after his previous two outings). The Airport Bowl had obviously found a new supply of sump oil, but forgot to tell the monkey that oils the lanes not to put it all down at once. The lanes were very oily (which tends to favour straight bowlers and those who can move the ball on anything), which suited ferret better than the others. Ferret needs to put his paw out though, he could easily had had a six if only he could a spare in the right hand corner - wanker (four missed ten pins, chopped the 6-10 and the 3-6-10). The most outstanding statistic was the 16 open frames in game tow, including seven on the the trot. Pathetic.

7th December
Against Likely lads
Result = 1-3

Another total disaster, particularly for the furry one, who seems to have completely lost the art of picking up a spare - any spare. Ferret has now absented himself from the team until the new year in order to go on a hunt for his missing brain cell.

go to top

14th December
Against Eagles
Result = 4-0

Back on form again, at last. A guest appearance from Ronaldo (look at the handicap folks). Howard had a bit of a stormer in the first game, hitting a 266 (which means he had 322 over the second two games - hhmmm).

go to top

21st December
Against Nutcrackers
Result = 3-1

A nice win over old adversaries nutcrackers. A better way to end the year. We now enter the festive season and the next match is on Friday 4th January.

go to top

4th January
Against Odd Balls
Result = 3-1

A half-decent win after a very slow start, in fact I'm reliably informed that the team bowled like total plonkers in the first game.

go to top

11th January
Against Orion
Result = 3-1

A good win over the old adversaries and luckiest team in the league (remember the walk-over?). Andy and Mike did the biz, but 600s from the supporting team is nothing to be sniffed at. The furry one makes a re-appearance next week - let's see what happens.

go to top

11th January
Against Orion
Result = 3-1

A good win over the old adversaries and luckiest team in the league (remember the walk-over?). Andy and Mike did the biz, but 600s from the supporting team is nothing to be sniffed at. The furry one makes a re-appearance next week - let's see what happens.

go to top

11th January
Against Orion
Result = 3-1

A good win over the old adversaries and luckiest team in the league (remember the walk-over?). Andy and Mike did the biz, but 600s from the supporting team is nothing to be sniffed at. The furry one makes a re-appearance next week - let's see what happens.

go to top

18th January
Against Odd Balls
Result = 3-1

A new team line up with the return of the furry one and a reluctant Mike in anchor. First game was easy, the entire team going nineteen frames on 9 count or above. Second game was much closer and went to the last frame before we ran out winners by about 50 pins. The last game was a real cliff-hanger and down to the last bowler and the last frame, largely due to the Odd Ball's' lead off bowling out of his skin and hitting a 223. A solid return from the furry one, he had only three open frames all match (two splits and the ten pin on the last ball). Other notable points were the complete failure to finish, failing to get the jackpot in the last frame of both the first and second games and Mike having six opportunities to hang someone in each of the first six frames of the last game, and then getting a strike in the seventh, when nobody was on.

go to top

25th January
Against Crusaders
Result = 4-0

Awaiting scores from John.

go to top

1st February
Against Diamond
Result = 4-0

A furry ferret special, after pulling a sickie last week. The silly animal started by putting the first ball straight through the nose, leaving the 4-7-10, then picking it up as clean as a whistle. Then it got boring, going all the way to the tenth and ending with strike - nine - spare for a 279 game. Got blamed for missing the jackpot, but Howard put that to rights by slamming in a turkey. Having said that, the game was very close and was decided in the last frame. After a start like that, the beer frame was a forgone conclusion, and lo, it came to pass. The furry one couldn't put it together in the first half of the game and left a big four in the beer frame. The cost must acted as a kick up the arse, 'cos he then went all they way for a 215. Last game was marred by a very silly missed 6/9/10 - by about a foot, but then he came good again, finishing with a 223 for a 717 series. All hail the furry one - who has now buggered his handicap.

go to top

8th February
Against Fast & Furious
Result = 1-3

What a disaster. We didn't bowl badly at all - look at the scores. But, no matter what we did, we were matched, almost scratch by the opposition who had their best ever series - 3 times over. Just "one of the nights"

go to top

15th February
Against 007s
Result = 3-1

A furry ferret special, after pulling a sickie last week. The silly animal started by putting the first ball straight through the nose, leaving the 4-7-10, then picking it up as clean as a whistle. Then it got boring, going all the way to the tenth and ending with strike - nine - spare for a 279 game. Got blamed for missing the jackpot, but Howard put that to rights by slamming in a turkey. Having said that, the game was very close and was decided in the last frame. After a start like that, the beer frame was a forgone conclusion, and lo, it came to pass. The furry one couldn't put it together in the first half of the game and left a big four in the beer frame. The cost must acted as a kick up the arse, 'cos he then went all they way for a 215. Last game was marred by a very silly missed 6/9/10 - by about a foot, but then he came good again, finishing with a 223 for a 717 series. All hail the furry one - who has now buggered his handicap.

go to top